I never thought I would become one of those people. One of those people who questions their marriage. How long do you hold onto someone who checked out long ago?
I’ve always been such a stickler on making marriages last…and saying people should never get divorced…and here I am asking myself if that could be the answer.
I just want to be happy…I just want to feel loved. Words only mean so much, and taking care of someone financially is not the same as taking care of someone emotionally. I swear I feel like most of the time my husband hates me.
Or maybe my expectations are too high….I don’t know, I’m just so lost and confused and I love that man so much more than he could ever love me, and that’s what scares me.
I want him to be happy. I want me to be happy.
Most of all I just want to stop crying.
My heart hurts everyday, and I feel like there is no one I can talk to. I am all alone, and I am screaming at the top of my lungs…& no one hears me.
I feel myself slowly dying inside.
I’m becoming the pitiful little girl who left covington 5 years ago.
Maybe couseling is a good idea. At this point I’m willing to do anything to make him happy. I just hope this isn’t the beginning of the end.
We took Brooklyn Sledding today, and just seeing the look in her eyes while she coasted down the sea of white was amazing. To think that this was something new and exciting to her, something she has never been able to experience was just mind-blowing to me. It’s so easy for us to take things forgranted once we have done them time and time again and they are nothing new to us anymore. I hope my daughter always keeps that innocence and sense of wonderment about her, because it is something I feel I could definitely use more of…All in all, today was such a wonderful day.